Pick up a bar of soap in each level
Reach E2MS
Reach E3MS
Get past wave 20 in Endless Mode
Get past wave 10 in Endless Mode
Get past wave 5 in Endless Mode
Watch the credits to the end
Find Lavender's secret
Complete all three episodes
Complete Episode 3
Earn the 'Pacifist' award
Neutralize Chomper
Complete Episode 2
Telefrag the Guardian
Find 'Wife of Intoxigator'
Complete Episode 1
Find a "You aren't supposed to be here go away" sign
Find Dopefish
Kill Intoxigator while intoxicated
Beat par time in a level
Beat a level on 'Duskmare'
Earn the 'Untouchable' award
Earn the 'Low Tech" award
Use cheats
Reach E1MS
Find Rachael's secret
Kill an enemy by spinning your weapons
Earn the 'Completionist' award
Earn the 'Completionist' award in every level